It has come to my attention, dear readers, that the world of the moving pictures has reached a milestone of some twenty-five years. To mark this occasion, a certain lady, Miss Jordana Brewster—well known to the public as the fair Mia Toretto—decided to make a visit to the red carpet. One cannot help but admire the audacity of the modern age, though the results are often quite peculiar.

Imagine, if you will, a gown of black lace, trailing behind her like a melancholic cloud. However, the lace was of such a fragile and transparent nature that the lady's undergarments—most peculiar high-waisted things—were revealed for all the world to see. One wonders if this is the new 'fashion' of the day, or simply a lapse in the vigilance of her lady's maid. A pair of open shoes and a modest, sleek bun completed the ensemble, though no amount of understated makeup could distract the eye from the sheer boldness of the fabric.

Among the gentlemen present was Mr. Vin Diesel, a man of formidable presence. He spent his time dispensing gossip regarding the final chapter of their racing chronicles, announcing with a flourish that the cameras shall begin their work in December. He spoke of one Mr. Louis Leterrier, the director, who, in a most amusing turn of events, admitted he had not yet laid eyes upon the script.

Truly, it is a marvel of our time: we build grand monuments to speed and cinema, yet we forget the simple virtue of an opaque dress.