The Great Fuel Alchemy, or How Certain Gentlemen Prosper While the State Pays the Bill

Pray, allow me to introduce you to the peculiar sorcery of the so-called 'damping mechanism'—a device of such exquisite generosity that it would make a Spendthrift blush. This artifice, established in the year of our Lord 2019, ensures that our esteemed oil merchants—those gallant speculators of the black gold—shall never suffer the indignity of a lean purse.

You see, the arrangement is simple: when the world's appetite for fuel drives prices to dizzying heights, the State, in a fit of unmatched benevolence, pays these gentlemen a subsidy to ensure the common man does not find his carriage fare too dear. Should the export profit exceed the internal price, the treasury opens its vaults. Should the tide turn and the profit vanish, the merchants are expected to return a few shillings to the Crown. A most sporting wager, is it not?

Indeed, there was a brief moment of tragedy at the dawn of 2026. The market plummeted, and for the first time in five years, these wretched souls were forced to part with their own gold! They paid the treasury 18.8 billion rubles in January and 15 billion in February. One can only imagine the fainting spells and the dramatic sighs of despair that filled the boardrooms of these ruined men!

But alas! Fortune, that fickle mistress, smiled upon them once more. As turmoil erupted in the Near East, oil prices soared like a startled pigeon. The 'damping' wind shifted, and the merchants returned to their natural state of opulent prosperity.

Consider the sheer scale of this largesse! In the month of August, the state treasury dispensed a staggering 197.3 billion rubles to these fortunate souls (a payment for the month of July, as is the custom of these ledger-keepers). In August's preceding shadow, the June payments had already reached 113 billion.

To sum up this financial carnival: for the first seven months of 2026, the oil companies have pocketed a grand total of 898.9 billion rubles. If one includes the December leftovers, the sum swells to a magnificent 915.8 billion rubles.

And now, the final flourish! Mr. Alexander Novak, a gentleman of high standing in the government, has informed the press that no changes to this benevolent system are planned. The ink is dry, the vouchers are signed, and the merchants may sleep soundly, knowing that their 'damping' cushions are filled with the finest gold of the public purse. A triumph of commerce over common sense!