The Eternal Youth of Mr. Pitt: A Sporting Spectacle in New York

It has come to my attention, through the incessant chatter of the digital salons, that the esteemed Mr. Brad Pitt has recently graced the US Open with his presence. One must admire the audacity of the modern age, where a gentleman’s every blink is recorded for the amusement of millions.

There he sat, in the National Tennis Center of New York, presenting a most peculiar vision. Imagine, if you will, a gentleman of two-and-sixty years, draped in a polo shirt of a pale lavender hue—a color quite daring for a man of his station—and crowned with a baseball cap worn backward, as if he were a mischievous schoolboy playing a prank upon the elders. To complete this ensemble of contradictions, he donned aviator spectacles, a golden bracelet, and a timepiece of considerable merit.

Indeed, the masses have fallen into a veritable frenzy of admiration. "He remains quite splendid!" cry the admirers, while others claim he ages like a vintage claret, becoming more refined with every passing season. Such is the nature of our current fashion; it seems that as long as one possesses the requisite charm, the laws of time may be politely ignored.

Of course, no gentleman of such renown travels without a companion. Mr. Pitt was accompanied by his fair lady, Mademoiselle Ines de Ramon, a jeweler by trade. The lady chose a garment of an even more eccentric nature—a mini-dress printed with news-sheets. One can only wonder if she intended to provide the spectators with some light reading, or if this is simply the latest whim of the avant-garde.

Truly, the spectacle of the match was quite overshadowed by the spectacle of the guests. One longs for the quietude of a proper drawing room, far from the noise of such public fascinations.