It has come to my attention, dear gentlemen, that the salons of our city have been quite electrified by a most distressing piece of news. Certain journals, with a haste that can only be described as breathless, proclaimed that the illustrious Maestro Valery Gergiev had been whisked away to the hospital in a state of sudden emergency. One could almost imagine the fluttering of lace handkerchiefs and the frantic exchange of whispers among the ladies in their most elaborate hats.

However, the Bolshoi Theatre, acting as the guardian of truth against such flighty gossip, has seen fit to intervene. In a communication delivered via their modern electronic gazette, the institution has dismissed these reports as utter fantasies.

«This information does not correspond to reality,» the press service declares with a firmness that leaves little room for further speculation. «The Maestro is diligently preparing for his forthcoming engagements at the Mariinsky, as well as for the premieres at the Bolshoi.»

Indeed, the schedule remains as rigid as a Victorian corset. On the 14th of July, the historic stage in Moscow shall witness the premiere of Rodion Shchedrin's ballet, «Anna Karenina»—a tragedy of the heart that surely outweighs any temporary ailment of the body. This will be followed, on the 21st of July, by the poignant strains of Puccini's «Madama Butterfly».

How typical of our age! A few stray words, a hint of a crisis, and suddenly the entire society is convinced of a catastrophe. Even the Maestro's own daughter felt compelled to address the commotion. It seems, my dear friends, that in the theatre of life, the drama off-stage is often far more spirited than the one upon it.