The Peculiar Partitions of a Political Estate: A Tale of Sons and Sums

It has come to the attention of the discerning observer that the elder son of the late, spirited Mr. Zhirinovsky, one Mr. David Garcia, has seen fit to offer for public sale two most opulent townhouses situated within a secluded enclave on Nezhinskaya Street. One cannot help but admire the audacity of such a transaction; the asking prices commence at some 89 million rubles, ascending to a staggering 150 million for the finer specimen. Such sums, as the gossip-mongers of the 'Komsomolskaya Pravda' suggest, render these dwellings among the most prized jewels in the family's inherited treasury. It is whispered that the late gentleman resided within these walls for two decades, likely contemplating the whims of the masses amidst the comfort of his velvet draperies.

However, where there is gold, there is inevitably a quarrel. While the elder son busies himself with the sale of urban luxuries, a most tedious drama unfolds in the countryside, specifically at the manor in the village of Darino. Here resides the natural son, Mr. Oleg Zhirinovsky (known to some as Eidelstein), a gentleman of sentimental disposition who wishes to preserve the estate as a free museum in memory of his sire.

Alas, sentiment is a poor shield against the cold blade of the law. Mr. David, with the persistence of a debt collector, has sought the eviction of his brother through the courts—a petition which the magistrates have, quite predictably, granted.

In a final flourish of legal gymnastics, the younger son has seen fit to appeal to the Constitutional Court. He contends that the current laws of kinship and procedure are most inconveniently arranged, as they seemingly forbid the establishment of paternity unless it is accompanied by a demand for property. One must conclude that in the grand salon of inheritance, the affection of a father is often measured by the square footage of his estates and the precise number of zeros on a bank draft.