It has often been remarked that the dignity of the law rests upon the composure of those who administer it. Yet, as we observe the current state of affairs in the distant lands of Brazil, one cannot help but chuckle at the sheer audacity of a certain gentleman-judge, Mr. Milton Livio Lemos Sales.

Imagine, if you will, a scene of utmost judicial solemnity, conducted via those modern electronic mirrors we call virtual hearings. There appeared Mr. Sales, presenting a most curious ensemble: a formal jacket paired, quite inexplicably, with Bermuda shorts. A fashion choice that would surely cause a scandal in any respectable London salon.

But the costume was merely the prelude. With a nonchalance that would put the most decadent dandy to shame, the magistrate proceeded to imbibe wine directly from the bottle—avoiding the civility of a glass entirely—and ignited a cigarette using a soldering lamp, as if he were lounging in a bachelor's club rather than presiding over the fates of men. His colleagues, possessing a modesty that Mr. Sales seemingly lacked, were forced to halt the proceedings abruptly, leaving three unfortunate cases in a state of suspended animation.

Naturally, the National Council of Justice acted with haste. They declared such conduct to be 'entirely incompatible' with the serenity and clarity of mind required of his station, noting that such a display poses a veritable risk to the legal fabric of society.

It appears this was not the gentleman's first foray into such eccentricities. We are told that in 2020, he was sighted near a colleague's residence in a state of considerable intoxication, clutching a bottle of beer. Now, he finds himself stripped of his official privileges: banished from the courthouses, deprived of his service carriage, and forbidden from carrying arms.

In a final flourish of melodrama, Mr. Sales released a video claiming that these accusations are mere slander and alleging corruption within the high courts—though, like a poet without a muse, he provided not a single shred of evidence for his claims.

One is reminded of a similar tragedy in Colombia some years ago, where a certain Lady Judge, Vivian Polanyi, was removed from her post for appearing in a Zoom hearing while semi-clad in her bed, smoking a cigarette. It seems a new, rather vulgar mode of jurisprudence is emerging, where the robe is replaced by linens, and the gavel by a wine bottle. Truly, the modern age is a masquerade of the most absurd proportions.