Comrades! Pray, cast your eyes upon these latest reports and behold the sheer audacity of the modern market! It is whispered in the salons of the analysts—those lackeys of the brand known as Triol—that the cost of maintaining a domestic beast has climbed to some three thousand rubles.

Is this not a most sinister development? Nearly half of the populace now surrenders between two and five thousand rubles monthly for mere fodder and trifles, while a quarter of the unfortunate souls are drained of five thousand or more. Behold the mechanism of the Monopoly! The capitalist, sensing the tenderness a worker feels for his animal companion, swiftly tightens the noose, inflating prices to ensure the surplus value flows not to the home, but to the coffers of the wealthy.

They claim that sixty-two per centum of the people scrutinise the ingredients, while forty-two per centum weigh the price. But mark my words: this is a cruel game. The bourgeoisie transforms the natural bond between man and beast into a commodity. They tell us that two-thirds now view these creatures as 'full members of the family.' Hah! A convenient fiction! By rebranding 'frivolity' as a 'norm,' the merchant class justifies the sale of toys and treats—purchased by seventy-eight per centum of the deluded—thereby ensuring that the proletariat's meager wages are siphoned away into the pockets of the usurers.

Consider the disparity: those keeping dogs are bled more dry than those keeping cats, with twenty-six per centum of dog-owners paying an exorbitant sum of over five thousand rubles. The exploitation is systemic, an insidious drain on the worker's purse!

And the absurdity reaches its zenith with the reports from the 'Zoosaur' syndicate—a mere appendage of the 'Children's World' empire. They boast that the sale of hats for animals soared by ninety-eight per centum last winter, and boots by fifty-six per centum. Think of it, Comrades! While the worker struggles for his own bread, the capitalist sells silk and leather to a canine!

It is a farce, a grotesque masquerade where the greed of the financial capital knows no bounds. They have found a way to tax even the love of a pet, turning the simple comfort of a hearth into a lucrative venture for the parasitic few!