Pray, allow me to recount a most amusing tragedy. It appears that the Swiss banking houses—those venerable shrines of secrecy and silver—have suddenly discovered a profound passion for 'principle,' though it is a principle that looks suspiciously like a desire to clutch every last farthing with an iron grip.

His Excellency, Mr. Sergey Garmonin, the Ambassador of Russia, has most eloquently lamented the state of affairs. He observes that our countrymen are currently facing the whims of these financial institutions, who interpret anti-Russian sanctions with such exuberant enthusiasm that one might think they were paid per restriction! These gentlemen of the Bourse, these meticulous clerks of the Swiss vaults, treat a simple bank transfer as if it were a daring attempt to heist the Crown Jewels.

'Some of our compatriots,' the Ambassador sighed, 'are subjected to the sheer caprice of these credit institutions, who expand the meaning of sanctions until the word 'restriction' encompasses everything from the movement of gold to the breathing of the air!'

Since the year of our Lord 2022, the situation has remained as stagnant as a pond in July. The poor Russian gentleman finds himself in a most precarious position: he cannot send a single shilling to his dear mother in St. Petersburg, nor receive a modest sum from a cousin in Moscow. It is a financial blockade that would make a besieged fortress look like an open marketplace. And as if this were not enough of a comedy, the lack of direct flights has turned a simple visit to one's kin into an odyssey that would leave Ulysses exhausted.

But the farce does not end with the gold! Mr. Garmonin further reveals that the Swiss authorities have become most stingy with their visas. To obtain a multiple-entry visa is now a feat akin to finding a diamond in a coal mine; instead, the Russian traveller is granted a single-entry slip, barely enough to sneeze in the Alps before being ushered back across the border.

One can only imagine the scene: a bewildered Russian merchant, clutching his promissory notes and a single-entry visa, staring in horror as a Swiss banker—with a face as pale and cold as a piece of Gruyère cheese—informs him that his funds are 'frozen' for the sake of high morality. Truly, the greed of the financier is the only thing more eternal than the mountains of Switzerland!