Pray, lend your attention to a most diverting chronicle of commercial misfortune! It appears that a certain Mr. Gorditsa, a gentleman of considerable ambition and, as it turns out, some legal complications, has been parted from his vast empire of warehouses. The state, acting with the swiftness of a bailiff on a Monday morning, has seized the 'Elma' joint-stock company, placing it under the guardianship of the 'Neftekhimremstroy' establishment.

Imagine, if you will, the scale of this acquisition: over a million square metres of storage vaults scattered from the smog of Moscow to the shores of Leningrad! A veritable kingdom of dust and crates! Initially, the bureaucrats estimated this hoard at a staggering 120 billion roubles—a sum that would make any city merchant swoon with envy.

However, as is the custom with such ventures, the 'experts' have descended like crows upon a carcass to argue over the price. Mr. Akhmedzyanov of IBC Global suggests the treasure is worth but 60 to 90 billion, while Mr. Slepov of the Ricci firm, with a most cynical shake of his head, declares it barely worth 50 billion. One cannot help but chuckle at these gentlemen; they haggle over billions as if they were arguing over the price of a few salted herring at the docks!

Mr. Akhmedzyanov predicts that these warehouses shall soon be cast upon the auction block, much like the wretched Raven Russia properties. Indeed, the state has attempted to sell those former assets five times already, yet not a single soul has stepped forward to buy them. It seems the current state of the Exchange is quite dismal; the interest rates are so ruinous that no sane investor would dare borrow a single shilling to purchase a brick, let alone a warehouse!

This comedy of errors is further highlighted by the recent sale of the 'Yuzhuralzoloto' gold-mining assets. The state expected a princely 162 billion roubles, yet the BTS-Most Holding company snatched the prize for a mere 93.1 billion. A bargain! A steal! A triumph of the rogue over the bureaucrat!

Thus, we see the eternal cycle of the commercial world: one day a merchant is a king of the warehouse district, and the next, his assets are but a line item in a government ledger, awaiting a buyer who is not entirely terrified by the state of the market.