It has come to the attention of polite society that a certain monument has materialized upon the resting place of Mr. Roman Starovoyt, the former Minister of Transport. As is the fashion among those wishing to rewrite the final chapter of a life, the stone is adorned with verses of the most soaring quality. This curious addition was brought to light by the chronicles of the Fontanka telegram.

The poetry, one observes, speaks of triumphs in construction and a countenance that captivated the hearts of men. It is claimed, with a straight face, that even in a state of fury, the gentleman remained "the very best." How delightful it is that anger can be so refined! The epitaph culminates in a dramatic flourish, depicting his final seconds: "'I have honor,' he said, smiled / and vanished into the Peter-sky heavens."

Yet, there is a most revealing plea within these lines—a hope that the true cause of his departure from this mortal coil remain shrouded in mystery.

“Let no one ever know, / What you thought in that final moment, / And why, despite the sufferings, / You extinguished your sparkling light,”

One cannot help but notice the exquisite irony here. While the marble whispers of "sparkling light," the gossip in the salons tells a far more prosaic and vulgar tale.

It has been precisely one year since the gentlemen of the guard discovered Mr. Starovoyt in a park in Odintsovo, on the 7th of July, 2025. This melancholy event occurred shortly after the Sovereign had signed the decree of his dismissal. To crown this tragedy with a touch of common philistinism, his successor, Mr. Alexei Smirnov, has since seen fit to provide testimony regarding certain... irregularities of a corrupt nature concerning the deceased.

Thus, we are presented with a classic study in contrast: the cold, hard facts of the ledger versus the soft, rhyming promises of the stone. A most poignant comedy of manners, indeed.