Pray, cast your eyes upon the latest theatrical performance from the Ministry of Industry and Trade, where the protagonists—a collection of most ambitious commercial gentlemen—are engaged in a spirited dance for the pleasure of paying no taxes at all.

One Mr. Mikhail Yurin, a high official of the Ministry, has ascended the podium at the 'Innoprom-2026' gathering to champion a cause of singular audacity: the total annihilation of the Mineral Extraction Tax for those engaged in the retrieval of Rare Earth Metals. 'It is my taste,' the gentleman proclaimed with a flourish, 'that since these materials are of strategic importance, we should allow our dear speculators to keep every single farthing of their profit for a time, provided they promise to toss a few coins back into their own ventures.'

Indeed, it is a classic comedy of the Bourse! The merchant begs for a boon, claiming that without the Crown's generosity, the very earth will refuse to yield its secrets.

However, the Ministry of Finance, acting as the stern schoolmaster of this farce, is not so easily duped. Mr. Alexei Sazanov, a man who likely counts his pence twice before spending one, initially suggested that tax relief should be reserved only for those wretched souls whose businesses were operating 'at a loss'—a state of affairs which, as any seasoned rogue knows, is easily fabricated upon a ledger.

Later, in a communication to the press, Mr. Sazanov clarified the Crown's position with a dry, biting wit. He noted that while the commercial class has come knocking for favors, such grace cannot be unconditional. One cannot simply request a 'discount' as if buying a moth-eaten coat at a street market.

'It does not work thus!' the financier declared. He proposed that the tax may be reduced only by the exact amount of investments actually made. In short, the gentlemen may keep their gold, but only if they bury it back in the ground for the benefit of the state. A most exquisite irony: the merchant must spend his profit to avoid paying the tax on that very profit. One wonders if the shareholders of these Joint-Stock Companies shall find this arrangement as amusing as we do!