Pray, consider the peculiar state of our current society, where the worth of a gentleman's talent is no longer weighed by the harmony of his melodies, but by a series of invisible markings—these modern 'likes'—which the youth pursue with the tenacity of a bloodhound.

One Mr. Yuri Loza, a gentleman of some seventy-two winters and a seasoned observer of the musical salons, found himself recently interrogated upon the prospects of a young fellow named Vanya Dmitrienko. The question, posed with all the urgency of a gossip at a tea party, was whether this youth could possibly fill the vast expanse of the Luzhniki stadium.

Mr. Loza, with a touch of that exquisite irony one finds only in those who have seen the world's follies, responded by comparing the young man to a certain Paul the Octopus—that most unlikely prognosticator of football matches.

«You speak to me of a person who is entirely a stranger to me,» the elder artist remarked with a sigh. «When they begin to prattle on about his myriad of followers and likes, I am reminded of that octopus. Truly, that cephalopod possessed more admirers and devotees than any Mr. Dmitrienko ever shall.»

How utterly droll! To suggest that a mollusk's popularity is a fitting measure for an artist's merit. Mr. Loza further lamented the prevailing philistinism of the age, noting that the sublime art of Jazz—a genre of singular elegance—receives nary a single 'like' from the masses, yet it remains a far more pleasant diversion than the raucous chants of a 'promoted rapper.'

Indeed, it is the tragedy of our times that the vulgarity of the crowd is mistaken for genius. While some, such as the eccentric Mr. Shura, have confessed their fondness for the works of Dmitrienko and his compatriots, one cannot help but wonder if such preferences are merely a symptom of a fashion that values the shine of the coin over the quality of the gold.

One imagines a lady in a most extravagant hat, tilting her head in confusion, wondering why a fish—or an octopus, for that matter—is now the gold standard for the arts. Alas, such is the comedy of modern celebrity.