The fog of misfortune has descended upon one Mr. Carlos Mencia—known in the theatrical circles as a master of wit, but known to the law by his true name, Ned Arnell Holness. The man has been clapped in irons, arrested for the most scandalous evasion of his rightful dues to the treasury, as reported by the news-sheets of the NBC.

According to the prosecution, this misguided fellow spent the years from 2019 to 2024 playing a dangerous game of hide-and-seek with the tax-gatherers. The sum of his delinquency is a staggering three hundred thousand dollars—a fortune that would make any cabman’s head spin! Should the judge find him guilty, the poor wretch faces no less than eleven years of hard labor and solitude behind grey stone walls.

Mr. Nathan Hochman, the District Attorney of Los Angeles, spoke with a stern countenance, branding the jester as one of the most brazen offenders in all of California. He noted that while Mencia once paid his pence with diligence, he later turned a blind eye to every warning. The official notices arrived, the ink was dry, yet the man remained deaf to the call of duty, treating the law as if it were a mere punchline to a joke.

It seems the theatre is currently a place of great peril. Only recently, we heard a most peculiar report of another mummer, one Paddy Young of the 'Saturday Night Live' troupe, who was carried to the infirmary in a state of distress. The poor soul, in a moment of folly with a blade, sliced his finger and severed a tendon—a grim reminder that whether by the sword or by the tax-man, fate has a sharp edge for those who trifle with danger.