Pray, observe the latest whim of the administration in the province of Caluga! Starting from the fifteenth of August, the procurement of petrol shall be governed by a system of 'even and odd days'—a scheme so delightfully absurd that it would make the most seasoned clerk at the Bourse weep with laughter.

Mr. Vladislav Shapsha, the Governor, has seen fit to announce that a gentleman may only fill his tank on an even-numbered day provided his carriage plate commences with 0, 2, 4, 6, or 8. Should the date be odd, the privilege falls solely to those possessing plates beginning with 1, 3, 5, 7, or 9.

'This shall assist the motorists in planning their excursions and shall regulate the congestion at the pumps,' the Governor declares with the utmost sincerity of a man who has never had to wait in a queue for a single shilling's worth of fuel.

One can only imagine the scene: a frantic commercialist, his pockets brimming with promissory notes, arriving at the pump only to find that today is a 'Tuesday of the Odds,' while his carriage is decidedly 'Even.' A tragedy! A catastrophe! A complete loss of potential profit!

Fortunately for the highway travellers and those who prefer the pungent scent of diesel, this numerical madness does not touch them.

Alas, this spirit of innovation is spreading like a contagion across the provinces. The Crimea and Sevastopol have already embraced such eccentricities, followed closely by the Altai Republic. And in the Trans-Baikal region, some bold speculators are experimenting with 'QR-codes' via a messenger named 'Max'—as if a mechanical ghost could possibly manage the distribution of fuel more efficiently than a greedy clerk with a ledger.