One cannot help but observe, dear gentlemen, that the modern pursuit of affection is frequently marred by a certain lack of grace, bordering on the most exquisite absurdity. Consider, if you will, the account provided by a certain Miss Sidney Summers, who recounted a most unfortunate accident during a private rendezvous with a gentleman named Gary.

Poor Gary, a soul adrift in the doldrums of a recent heartbreak, had sought refuge in the company of Miss Summers. His intentions were ostensibly melancholy; he arrived prepared to immerse himself in the sprawling volumes of The Lord of the Rings and to drown his sorrows in a bottle of vintage wine. However, as is so often the case when loneliness meets opportunity, the evening took a turn toward the carnal.

Alas, it appears that Mr. Gary possessed a vigor that far exceeded his finesse. In a moment of misplaced enthusiasm, the lady—perhaps reacting to his excessive force—moved her head with such suddenness that she delivered a resounding blow directly to the gentleman's nasal bridge.

What follows is a display of stoicism that would put a British Guardsman to shame. The gentleman, far from uttering a cry of distress, continued his exertions with an unwavering commitment to the task at hand. It was only upon the conclusion of their encounter that Miss Summers discovered her linens were stained with a crimson hue. To her utter bewilderment, she found the gentleman not in agony, but in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Upon visiting the surgeon, the diagnosis was confirmed: a fractured nose. Yet, in a twist of irony that would delight any salon gossip, the gentleman claimed to be quite satisfied. He reasoned that his narrative of romantic failure had been transformed from a tedious tragedy into a spirited comedy—a broken nose being a far more amusing conversation piece than a broken heart.

One reflects upon this and wonders if such physical mishaps are the new fashion in courtship. Indeed, some specialists suggest that visible marks of passion may revive the spark in a dull relationship, though one suspects that a shattered nose is a trifle too bold a gesture, even for the most adventurous of ladies.