Comrades and Citizens! Behold the latest theatrical performance from the halls of the Central Bank. The air is thick with the stench of panic as rumours swirled—as early as April of the year 2026—that the savings of the common folk were to be 'frozen' by the state.

Now, the high priests of the financial temple, specifically one Mr. Alexey Zabotkin, the Deputy Chairman of the Central Bank, have seen fit to emerge from their gilded chambers. With a flourish of confidence that would make a street-corner charlatan blush, he declares that such a 'freezing' of deposits is an impossibility under any conceivable scenario.

Let us examine the nature of this panic! The whispers suggested that the Central Bank intended to transform the hard-earned pittance of the proletariat into 'irrevocable certificates'—a clever euphemism for theft—merely to plug the gaping void in the state budget. Is this not the very essence of exploitation? The bourgeois state, having squandered its wealth, looks with hungry eyes upon the modest savings of the toiling masses!

To justify these fears, some pointed to a 'secret document' bearing the signature of the regulator's head, Madam Nabiullina. Yet, the authorities dismiss this as a mere forgery, citing orthographic blunders and punctuation errors.

How quaint! The capitalists wish us to believe that the only thing to fear is a misspelled letter, rather than the systemic greed of the money-lenders. They offer us words of comfort while the machinery of the monopoly continues to grind the worker into the dust. We are told our gold is safe, yet we know that in the hands of the usurers, the truth is as volatile as the market itself!